Friday feels…an awful lot like Sunday. That’s probably got something to do with the fact that it is Sunday. I’ve completely lost track of the days this week – as though I’ve been abducted by aliens or, more likely, there is a small hole in my skull and my brain has slipped through, like jelly being poured through a funnel. Thlwop it goes, onto the floor.
My schedule has been all out of whack because I’ve been lucky enough to have a few days off from my day job. Only Monday to Wednesday, but it was fab. I holed myself up in my room like a hermit, barely got out of my pyjamas, sat at my desk surrounded by treats, and wrote pretty much non-stop. I’ve let my creativity flow in whatever direction it wanted to and that was exciting. I created some of my best stories yet. You could say that my creative juices have been flowing, but I hate the term ‘creative juices’. It makes me think of a moist, sticky, sap-like substance oozing out of my pores, gunky and congealed along my skin. I imagine it dripping into my eyes and dropping off my lashes, I imagine the ripping sound every time I raise my arm because the sticky, glue-like stuff means I’ve got to rip my skin apart. Let’s be honest, it’s pretty gross but still, you could say that my creative juices have been flowing!
It’s been great though, this time off. I really love my day job – the work is interesting, the people are fun, it’s fast-paced and energetic, and what I do is charitable too. I always used to say I wouldn’t want to write full-time, that I like my job, that I like having to go out of the house and talk to actual living people (as opposed to the people who live inside my computer – although there are some amazing people in there). Now though, now I’m not so sure. I suspect, if asked, my answer may be different. Yes, I love my job and all that comes with it but do you know what? I love this more, this writing lark and actually, I’m so much better at it when I’ve got the time and energy to dedicate to it.
Lying in bed the other day, whilst trying to access the little island of my empty space (unsuccessfully, I might add), I began to wonder at just what I could achieve if I could put my all into my passion and this thing that drives me, this desire to put words onto a page in an aesthetically pleasing manner (because for me, it’s not so much about the stories but about sentence-building and scene creation, although stories are of course important too). What would I be able to achieve if I didn’t have a day job, or if I could at least flip it around so that I wrote full-time and worked part-time?
And therein lies a plan…or at least, a rather broad idea of a plan, onto which a plan could be built. Okay, so it’s not actually a plan but an idea – a dream, perhaps, but one that I am going to consciously take steps to put into place and this blog post is the first step: the admission to all and sundry that it’s time to move forward with my passion and make some changes in my life. Now to work out what the second step is…